Preamble:
This constitution is fully endorsed and sanctioned by the International Dibs-Calling Committee (IDCC). The rules listed below apply to the calling of Dibs, also known as “The Call”. Dibs may be made on any single person, whose sexual gender meets the preference of the caller. Dibs is called to reserve the target of the call (“the Target”) for the caller only, preventing others from approaching the Target for a set period of time. A Dibs call ensures a reasonable opportunity to seduce the Target without competition. These rules are definitive and binding.
Section I: The Basic Rules
Article 1: In order to call Dibs, the caller must pronounce the word “Dibs,” verifiable by at least one other person. The caller must also identify the Target in a reasonable manner (i.e. “I got Dibs on the butterface in the yellow g-string”).
Article 2: Dibs may only be called if the enactor (“the Caller”) has seen the Target in person. (photographs, digital images, etc. do not count). Dibs can only be called when the Caller is in line-of-sight (LOS) of the Target; Dibs cannot not be made if the Caller has already departed the Target’s location.
Article 3: The Call guarantees that no other individual, other than the Caller, may make any effort at hooking up with (seducing, courting, etc.) the Target for 30 days.
Article 4: Anyone disrespecting a legitimate Dibs call may be proclaimed a jackass by the community, and forfeits all honour. The Community may henceforth actively seek to destroy any sort of relationship the disrespecting citizen attempts with the Target, and may be attacked on sight.
Article 5: Dibs may only be called on a target who is officially single. In the case where the Target’s status is unknown, Dibs is in effect until information presents itself that clearly established that the Target is already spoken for.
Section II: Special Cases
These special exceptions to the above rules should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.
Article 1: In the instance that the Dibs call was made after midnight, the 30-day period begins on the active day (the day in which one woke up).
Article 2: In the instance that the Caller is no longer interested in the Target, then the Caller may retract The Call. The Caller may not make a new Dibs call on the same target until another person calls Dibs on the target in question, and that call has elapsed. Dibs may not be surrendered to a specific person.
Article 3: In the instance that 30 days has elapsed since the Caller established Dibs, and the Caller has been unsuccessful in hooking up with the Target, then another individual may call Dibs on the Target. The individual whose time elapsed may not make a new Dibs call on the Target until after every potential candidate whom the original caller knows has either already called Dibs or has declined. If everyone has already called Dibs or declined, the slate is cleaned and anyone may call Dibs on the Target (except for the last caller, who must wait until at least one other person has called Dibs again). For purposes of this Article, “every potential candidate” includes only those people who were present when the original Dibs call was made.
Article 4: In the instance that the Target actively pursues a person who has not called Dibs, then the person the Target is after may submit to the Target’s desires, rendering the Dibs call irrelevant. For purposes of this Article, active pursuit will be determined only by those people present when the Dibs call was made; a majority vote will determine if the Target’s pursuit is “active”.
Article 5: In the instance that the Caller makes no significant effort at hooking up with the Target within 15 days of the call, then the Caller forfeits Dibs. Rules outlined in Article 2 are thusly followed.
Section III: The Free-for-All Rule (a.k.a. The Gang-Bang Rule)
Article 1: If a successful Dibs call has been made, the Caller may institute the Free-for-All Rule. In this case, all rules become obsolete, and Dibs may no longer be called on the Target until after the Target has hooked up with someone and broken up with them.
Amendments
Amendment I: The Lesbian Rule (a.k.a. Hot Dibs)
Contrary to its name, this Amendment is not gender-specific. If Dibs is called by someone of one gender (“Gender X”), then the Call may be overriden by someone of the opposite gender (“Gender Y”) by calling “Hot-Dibs.” This call is only legal if the Gender Y caller makes the override call within five minutes of the original Dibs call. All Dibs earned in this manner last only 15 days, not 30, and significant effort must be made within 7 days before this call becomes invalid (rather than 15). Hot-Dibs can only be called by someone of Gender Y if the Target is the preferred sex of the Gender Y individual. In other words, Hot Dibs cannot be called simply to cock-block the original caller by someone of the Target’s gender.
Amendment II: Warring Factions
All rules within the Dibs Rulebook refer to a group of allied individuals (i.e. a group of friends, known as a “Faction”); the Dibs rules made by the Caller applies only to the Caller’s own Faction. Should this Faction recognize that Dibs was previously called by an individual in another Faction, the Caller’s Dibs call remains in effect. The Caller’s Faction may therefore attempt to sabotage the efforts of the opposing Faction’s caller. As per Article 4 of the Basic Rules, all Factions are considered part of the Community. This establishes additional reinforcement of the rules governing a Dibs call.
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{ 12 comments }
Utterly brilliant…….
I would propose an additional rule.
If one person is already pursuing a Target, without the knowledge of his Allies, and one of his Allies calls dibs. The dibs becomes absolete. However, the standard length of 30 days applies from the moment of the absolute dibs being called.
That is indeed Genius.
what happens if dips is called between one group of individuals and then while discussioning the dips another individual approaches the current group and says that they called dips an extended period ago?
@Whacko – Per Article I of the Basic Rules, any individual calling Dibs needs it verified by one other person. So in this scenario, the Caller’s Faction should already be aware of the Call. If not, the Call is either not enforceable, else this may be an instance of the Warring Factions Amendment.
@thomas – This scenario is covered by Amendment II: Warring Factions.
I am curious what happens in the following situation:
Person A and B (girl and boy) has a relationship, they are member of the same faction, also Peron C is, person C dibs Girl A, on purpose to mess Mr. B, eventually person C doesn’t take action to Person A and so according Article 5 A & B have a problem of at least 15 days,
Could be a nice joke, couldn’t it?
J.
Ok, so what rules apply here:
I call dibs on a guy, and i move schools. Does my friend get him by default?!
@J – The preamble says, “Dibs may be made on any single person…” (i.e. anyone who’s available), and is mirrored in Section I, Article 5. “Single” is not meant to be interpreted as anyone unmarried, but if this is causing confusion it can be clarified.
@Kabuko – You have 15 days upon which to take action. Per Section II, Article 5, your Dibs call remains in effect unless your fail to make “significant effort.”
This is the most legitimate version of the International Dibs Protocol I’ve seen … but I’m disappointed that you didn’t mention the No Take-Backs Accords, or the rule set on people calling Next
@JSN – Could you summarize those rules? We’d be happy to include them in an updated version.
Is it legal to stack Dibs?
If I call Dibs on someone, can anyone else stack a Dibs on top of that just in case of a fail or 15day-without-action rule?
Can you call Dibs on multiple targets at once?
A group of girls walk in, can I call Dibs on the whole group or can I call Dibs on ‘the hot blonde’ AND ‘the shy brunette’ at the same time?
In my daughter’s social circle, dibs is often called on a friend or acquaintance who is currently in a relationship and takes effect when the target becomes single unless the caller has already entered a relationship with someone else. In addition, the target must be notified and agree. (“Tom, you and Susie make an awesome couple… but if she ever dumps you, I call dibs.”) In such a case the target is obbligated to contact the caller if and when he becomes single and give the caller the opportunity to ask them out before any other interested party.
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