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I’m particularly amused by recent news of hobbits - the filthy, hairy-toed barefoot dwarves who live in hovels. Perhaps, dear reader, you think these things to be but machinations of Tolkien’s genius, but others shout “Nay!”, as would be the case with certain men with redneck names who live in Tallahassee. Not that “Falk” isn’t a cool name, but it’s just redneck enough to be obvious when one lives in Tallahassee.

Intending to prevent further digression, the matter here pertains to Homo Floresiensis, which I place in italics because that’s what science textbooks do. The news of these near-humans is not ultra-recent, and I thought I commented on our dead cousins when it was, but no news search reveals this. In any case, the point is that as thinkers, we Sapiens are not that unique, and I continue to be fascinated by the fact that there are others, who may not have quite the same brain capacity as we do, but who nonetheless could feasibly live beside us like some fantasy race out of a modern Tolkien epic (minus rings of power of course).

So on the isle of Flores, there were these hobbits, who were likely also barefoot, and probably smelled too. Most amusing to me, however, is not the normal fascination we have with our lesser midget cousins (no offense intended), but with the suggestion that these little cousins of ours hunted miniature elephants. The idea tickles me in the way a children’s book is amusing, in that serious subjects are minimalized; Neanderthals hunted wooly mammoths, and likely got their asses handed to them plenty of times, and here we have little hobbits hunting tiny elephants, because that’s what little people do. And no, there were no hobbits harmed in these hunting expeditions, because little elephants are cute and white and innocent, and hobbits, too, are cute and white and innocent, because Tolkien never thought to create a black hobbit, or a particularly mean hobbit that didn’t turn into a humanoid slug with bad grammar.

I better stop before someone calls Tolkien a racist. I do love them hobbits though

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