Internet friends are not real.
It is a sad state of affairs when the heading of this post offends readers, but I maintain that MC Lars was correct in saying that “Internet relationships are not real relationships.” Do not misunderstand me here: I am aware that online socializing has become more acceptable in recent years, and that social networking sites now include normal people among its membership. Further, I am aware that people are able to relate online in ways that do not deteriorate into arguments, be that on instant messaging clients, match.com, IRC, or online bulletin boards.
Yet when studies show that people are treating online friends on the same level as they treat their real-life friends, someone, somewhere, is crying.
The survey found that, over a decade after the public was introduced to the web, “we are now witnessing the true emergence of the Internet as the powerful personal and social phenomenon we knew it would become,” according to the Center for the Digital Future’s director, Jeffrey I. Cole.
When Cole says “we knew”, who did he mean, Retard-Nostradamus? And by “powerful”, does he mean “retarded?” The real heart of the matter is what’s important, however:
43 percent of those who participate in online communities feel “as strongly” about their online buddies as those offline. What this shows is that—due to the proliferation of chat rooms, blogs, sites like MySpace, forums, games, virtual worlds, and other communities online—Internet users are reaching out to more people, not less, as technology critics have feared.
The basis of fear is not that people don’t communicate with others, it’s that they don’t communicate with others as they would in real life. The Internet masks people, and so building a relationship based on a very limited experience with someone (in this case, text communication) fails to give a proper, useful image of that person. It is scary, then, that Internet users can claim to include online friends in the same circle as their real friends, as this is nothing short of naive and, in many cases, ignorance. Perhaps it comes down to a matter of whether or not one should trust another person from the get-go, or whether trust is built. I would argue that in “real life”, the latter is generally the case, whereas online, the former tends to dominate.
Ultimately, this difference in how we treat people initially is significant, since it also affects how relationships grow. And, as people in the service industry can tell you, relying on limited forms of communication to deal with other people significantly affects how people interact. There’s a reason that younger generations don’t have the communication skills that older generations do, and I’m guessing a reliance on text messages, e-mail, etcetera are a primary cause.
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Hrmm, well that just sounds sad. “Someone somewhere is crying”? I hope that person feels better soon.
“The basis of fear is not that people don’t communicate with others, it’s that they don’t communicate with others as they would in real life.”
- That is an assumption and not a rule, don’t you think? It is not imposable to be yourself in “chat form”
I guess at this point you can tell I am not of the same opinion and I am one of those people somewhat offended.
I have the best RL friends in the world. I also have been very fortunate over the past year or so to have made a few Internet friends that have come to mean a great deal to me. Some I have met, some I have yet to meet. In the cases of the ones I have met, It was rather a seamless transition from “Internet friends” to “Real Life friends” each time, so I have found in my experience that people can be themselves “in chat”.
“The Internet masks people, and so building a relationship based on a very limited experience with someone (in this case, text communication) fails to give a proper, useful image of that person.”
-I can agree that this statement MAY be true in many cases, as well I suppose if you have trouble trusting people or even if that the communications turn out to be lies, less than honest, or someone is not being wholly themselves, it would not “be real”.
Point is, I see no harm in starting a dialog with someone you have never meet in the flesh, and there is also the option of starting voice dialog by phone and going from there, as by then at least you should know whether or not you can actually communicate with that person and not just sit there filling the air with zero’s. You can also risk free, meet these new friends and see if the “person” fits the “persona” and the blessing there is you have many of the superficial and trivial assessments and BS out of the way.
Remember no one ever you said you HAVE to call these people your friends and as to whether or not you do, it probably just comes down to your ability to asses and trust people. Keep in mind “Internet friends are not real” is your opinion and not a fact, but feel free to be a dogmatic as you like.
-what ever
Ok so my spelling leaves a little to be desired
-asses = assess
-a dogmatic = as dogmatic
that was just bothering the hell out of me.
People are inherently incapable of communicating with others online as they do offline, because human communication is not naturally text-based. Furthermore, even if one does utilize voice communication online, one must remember that human communication is made up of visible emotions, gestures, and other non-verbal responses. These are all factors that are involved in how people begin to relate to one another.
That Internet friends can become “real” friends is not the subject of dispute. Rather, I argue that “Internet friend” is a label not synonymous with “friend”, as “Internet” is a qualifier in the former term for a reason. This is not to say that one cannot create favorable acquaintances with individuals online, which might eventually evolve into a friendship down the road after one meets the person in question, but placing the same emphasis on one’s Internet acquaintances as one does their real-life friends is a little irresponsible. Perhaps this all comes down to how stringent one defines “friend”, however, which I believe is a term too easily given in American society these days. That is to say, people throw the term “friend” around willy-nilly, and this de-emphasizes what it means to be and have a real friend.
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