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Having recently sold my house and having two weeks to vacate it, I’ve gone on a rather rabid hunt to find a new home before I end up like the homeless I bitch about so frequently. My family has kindly offered to mail me some rather nice and large cardboard boxes in case I fail to find a place to live, but I’m still hoping I’ll manage to find some place a little nicer than that. After all, I don’t want to end up smelling like a Berkely hippie. (goddamn hippies!!!)

Having cats makes finding an apartment in the Bay Area rather cumbersome. And no…I’m not going to gas my cats or give them up like so many people have so cold-heartedly suggested. I believe if you adopt a pet, it’s your responsibility for life. You can’t just drop it off at the pound, because it’s no longer convenient for you. But that’s a rant for another time. Back to the topic….

I’ve submitted a rental application at a couple of different locations, and I’ve attended several open houses in my quest for a non-ghetto, cat-friendly apartment. I must say that I’ve been rather insulted by the people who are renting these establishments. I may not entirely look my age, but DAMNIT! do I look like I’m 12? I’ve had more than one landlord look at me like this is my first time renting and ask me if I understand that rental contracts are binding. One man I’ve talked with a few times has made a pointed effort to bring up rental contracts every time I talk to him. Is it that I seem young? Is it that he’s a sexist bastard? Does he think I’m a moron or someone who can’t afford a place?

I’m a responsible adult. I’ve been a homeowner. I have a stable job that demands I be responsible. I don’t look like a dirty hippie. So WTF? Their insulting treatment almost makes me want to tell my family to go ahead and send the boxes. I’ll find a nice little field somewhere and settle down. Or maybe I’ll live in a storage unit. For San Francisco being such a hippie-laden environment, I find it ironic that no one wants to allow pets.

All I know right now is that landlords suck, I hate the fact that I have to go back to renting, and I’m really tired. I swear, if one more landlord gives me that look while asking if I’m sure I understand that contracts are binding, I’m going to ask them if they understand that my fist making contact with their face would most probably hurt.

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