We’ve ruminated at length about the rumoured Apple tablet computer, from the iPhone “dock” that is our Apple Annex, to the Macbook sibling that is our iTablet Excelsior. And with recent clues shoved down our digital throat across the blogosphere suggesting that an Apple tablet will indeed be announced sometime next year, we find ourselves once again justifying its impending existence.

The truth’s in the Air.

It began with the MacBook Air and may indeed end with it. Almost two years ago, we complained that the MacBook Air was overpriced for a poorly performing machine with so little to offer other than a reduced physical footprint. To be fair, that same complaint holds even truer today, with even the basic 13″ MacBook Pro beating the MacBook Air out on all specs to include price, with the Air merely coming in at 1.5 lbs lighter. How many real-world applications is that 1.5 lbs going to make a real difference for?

But the Air, as we stated back in January, 2008, is a great proof-of-concept. And that proof-of-concept has gotten slight buffs during its two generational updates. One could almost say that the Air is Apple’s notebook AppleTV, in the sense that it’s more of a hobby to set the future stage than to sell based purely on its present merits. That’s not to say that the Air isn’t decent; we’re even considering picking up a used Air if the price is right, just so we have a very portable, no-frills writing device that runs OS X (we’ve seen first-gen models go for what amounts to the price of a netbook hackintosh). But if money is indeed a consideration, the Air today is a poor purchase when the 13″ MacBook Pro offers so much more for less money.

Back to the Air as a proof-of-concept, the makings of an Apple tablet were all thrown in front of us in 2007. The iPhone had the touch technology, and the Air had an ultra-portable form factor. Apple explored SSD hard drives with the Air, and in a sense, teased the niche market for expensive-but-polished notebooks. The unibody design was touted as an end to user-replaceable batteries, offering solid battery life that trickled into the MacBook Pro lineup. And with all that, Apple proved that there was a market for the Air, and one that could likely grow with cheaper hardware costs.

So what’s left? Take the Air, throw away the keyboard, and tablet nirvana is just around the corner. While we wouldn’t expect Apple to revive the Newton or Air names for a future tablet, one has to admit that the latter name is catchy and far more apt for a tablet than for what the Air is today.

Apple Tablet as the new king of media.

Looking at iTunes LP and iTunes Extra content, we see a pretty exciting, open technology for developers to exploit. These technologies add even more reason to go all-digital, as consumers won’t have to feel like they’re missing out on bonus content if they don’t buy a CD with art and lyrics on the pull-out jewel case pamphlet, or the extra content on DVD menus. The best thing about iTunes Extra, though, is that it’s flexible enough to be used with other media, like print. That is to say, books, newspapers, and magazines, in digital format, could have a degree of interaction that typical e-publications don’t. Instead of simply reading a PDF or ePub document, consumers will be able to interact with their digital downloads in a way we expect one to interact with web sites, only in this case, an online connection would only be leveraged sporadically.

For example, newspapers could have polls. When a user submits their response to the poll, the information is transmitted the next time the Tablet has an internet connection. Thereafter, the newspaper poll will show results to date, without the user having to manually reload the poll data. Local weather information could be dynamically generated upon purchase, while old issues of the publication would have static records based on the actual weather histories. Users could enable/disable audible readings of articles, and magazines could include video clips of product reviews, better leverage advertising, and generally include more media that would otherwise have been cut in a print magazine because of limited space. And books could leverage interactive media in another way: imagine reading through Lord of the Rings, and having an easy-to-access map of Middle-earth, where the Fellowship’s location is marked, and corresponds to where you are in the book’s reading. With enough foresight, one could even cross-reference terms from Lord of the Rings to Tolkien’s other works, assuming they too were purchased. In other words, digital publications could link to one another in a sort of quasi-wiki method.

Ultimately, these are things that will add value to a digital download, thereby making them more attractive for consumers. Considering Apple’s success with music, and to a more limited degree television and film, it would not be surprising if Apple took on the e-publishing mission with a zest yet unseen by the eBook industry. And why shouldn’t Apple carve out this rather important niche, especially since it won’t be competing head-on with today’s eBooks: the type of interaction we’re talking about isn’t suitable for an e-ink display. Apple will want colour (lots of colour!), and the quick, reactive display that one would expect to see on the iPhone or, in this case, an Apple tablet. Sure, the battery life won’t be as good as an eBook reader, but the experience will be better.

There have already been plenty of rumours suggesting that Apple has met with print-industry big-wigs, and other rumours indicating that print-industry execs are meeting with one another to address their future digital distribution plans. (Supposedly, Apple has even offered a 30/70 split to publishing houses as financial incentive.) It should be obvious to anyone that standardizing this distribution, to a firm degree, will be beneficial to all companies involved. And with Apple leading the charge, would it really surprise anyone if iTunes was rebranded as something more like “iMedia?”

The Apple Tablet as a MacBook.

With the type of interactive content we’re talking about, Apple won’t release a dedicated device. Anyone with iTunes will be able to download the latest music, movies, and magazines, and be able to sync them across all their iTunes-capable devices. What better way to showcase the multimedia prowess of the music/movie/magazine conglomeration flipping through virtual pages of the latest New York Times bestseller with an actual flick of one’s finger, using similar gestures to control music and movie playback? The processing power we’re talking about, particularly for the multimedia elements, will be greater than what most eBook readers have today.

Apple is about totality of experience. That’s where the iPhone trumps every other smartphone on the market, and why Apple was able to beat out competitors in 2007 when the iPhone, to much initial criticism, was unleashed upon the masses. Apple’s only going to duplicate this effort with a tablet: a perfect machine to showcase its multimedia initiative, but still capable of tackling most average computing needs. So yes, the tablet will support a wireless keyboard/mouse, and run the regular version of OS X. Its specs will likely be similar to that of the MacBook, or maybe even the 13″ MacBook Pro. But the market for a tablet is clearly different than the market for these more traditional laptops, so it won’t cannibalize sales of other Apple products any more than the Mac Mini cannibalizes sales of the iMac. Users who need a traditional notebook experience for class or work will still get a MacBook: it’s the desktop baseline for getting work done with mobility in mind. But those who can spare not having a physical keyboard will love the tablet, because it offers extra mobility at the expense of easy desktop integration. Some tablet owners may cart around a wireless keyboard in their tote bags, but they will likely be the exception. Everyone else will treat their tablets like an eReader that can do so much more; the tablet will be the perfect, portable entertainment tool aimed at those who consume information rather than games. It won’t be a one-trick pony like the CrunchPad Joo Joo, because as Steve Jobs said, an Apple tablet will be expected to do more than simply serve as a web-reading tool for toilet-surfers.

The assumed $1,000 price-point seems entirely realistic at this point, especially when one realizes that the tablet will be little more than a MacBook Air whose keyboard was replaced with a capacitive touchscreen. That price doesn’t make us gawk at all. In fact, we’re ready to jump at a tablet purchase under these conditions, and we wouldn’t be surprised if the device is ready in time for CES 2010.Similar Posts:

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Alan Moore of Watchmen fame made a comment recently that we spotted over at io9. The comment hearkens back to the point we tried to make about the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Namely, that big-screen translations can’t always be authentic, because what works in a cartoon aimed at children doesn’t seem remotely realistic to adults watching an action blockbuster.

There is something about the quality of comics that makes things possible that you couldn’t do in any other medium.. Things that we did in Watchmen on paper could be frankly horrible or sensationalist or unpleasant if you were to interpret them literally through the medium of cinema. When it’s just lines on paper, the reader is in control of the experience – it’s a tableau vivant. And that gives it the necessary distance. It’s not the same when you’re being dragged through it at 24 frames per second.

We happened to think that Watchmen was a pretty good movie, and a good translation of the comic book at that. Able to ignore the impossibility of the character’s super-human athleticism, we were still rather put off by the over-the-type ending, and the rather unnecessary use of character costumes as often as they were. Yes, it’s a comic book movie, but when chilling out at home while watching the world turn asunder, do you really need to be in your dork-outfit when no one’s around to discover your identity anyway?

While some decisions in big-budget movies are aimed at selling merchandise, it’d be nice for producers to realize that this merchandising really hurts the integrity of what could otherwise be a very good movie. This Ewok-syndrome has plagued many superhero movies in the past, and the lack of it is, in part, why the latest Batman movies were so successful. Let’s not revert back to bright crime-fighter outfits, and let’s hope that G.I. Joe also manages to avoid this pit. Of course, attempting silly gimmicks to explain away aesthetics can often hurt too, especially when trying to sell it to fanboys. Take the latest information about G.I. Joe’s Destro:

…according to the script review we read a while back, Destro’s mask in the film is made of nanotechnology, and allows Cobra Commander to control his mind.

If that’s the explanation for Destro’s mask that makes it into the final cut, then we can congratulate the producers on castrating the one great villain in the series, and seriously damaging the film’s credibility for a whole generation of young boys.

There’s a thin line between authenticity and believability, and it’s one that film producers need to carefully think about before putting a script into effect. Merchandising may not be the only offender in the equation, but it’s an easy culprit to spot. As always, changes to the original source material need to be carefully considered, but in the face of films targeting a viewership comprised of now-grown adults, the elements on film need to not only make sense, but be wholly believable unto the background material itself.Similar Posts:

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Warning: spoilers below.

Apocalypto is the touching tale of an Indian a Mexican a Native American who changes colour. He comes from a small village that calls pigs “tapirs”, and hunts them with intricate booby traps that would make Indiana Jones jealous. The chameleone-sque Native American, named Jaguar Paw, is a practical joker, much like all the men in his village except for his exceptionally big neighbor, who we will call Little John.

The villain in the movie is the evil Mayan Empire, who sends an Einsatzgruppe to Jaguar Paw’s village to kidnap pretty much everyone but the children. The Mayans are masters-of-arms, and Jaguar Paw and his neighbors (hereafter “Jungle Dwellers”) are no match for them, despite the hulking mass of Little John. These children are later forced to fend for themselves in the jungle, and ultimately inspire the writing of Lord of the Flies, then presumably die, as we never see them again. Before the main battle sequence between the Mayans and Jungle Dwellers, Jaguar Paw stashes his wife and son away in a long-abandoned sarlacc pit, right before Jaguar Paw gets his ass-kicked. He is then force-marched, along with the rest of the Jungle Dwellers, to the dying lands of the evil Mayans. On the way, the war-band, with captured Jungle Dwellers, comes across a lone child with boils, who starts talking nonsense and then makes Nostradamus-like predictions. Only, the predictions aren’t neat little poems, nor in French, and are much creepier because they come from a diseased child.

In Maya-land, rich people wear green ink. They also have funky hairstyles and some, like the Emperor, have pieces of jade magically stuck to their faces. This is due to Mayan magic, which was once very potent, until the gods decided to punish the Mayans by killing their crops and spreading disease among the people. Making jade sticky enough not to fall off one’s nose, however, is still magically possible.

Jungle Dweller women are auctioned off to the green-skinned Mayans, while the men climb a Mayan temple to be sacrificed to the Mayan sun-god. This is the part where Jaguar Paw changes colour for the first time. He is painted blue to show that he is sad and hopeless. A fat kid laughs at him, and Jaguar Paw ponders how he can not die, and then he is miraculously saved by a freak solar eclipse. He and the Jungle Dwellers who haven’t been sacrificed are then forced to play a game of run-away-from-the-flying-objects-and-dodge-a-melee-weapon-at-the-end-of-the-field. Jaguar Paw beats this game using Indian Mexican Native American Jungle Dweller sneakery, along with the help of Little John (who never got to showcase his strength in the way we hoped before he was killed). This is when Jaguar Paw kills the son of the Einsatzgruppe leader with an arrowhead, then makes off across a mass grave and back to the jungle. (See what Mel Gibson did here? The Jungle Dweller returning to the jungle?) It should be pretty clear how the rest of this goes.

The ensuing chase scene lasts days, like some sort of freak Elvish/Dwarfish pursuit across Middle Earth where conveniently, everyone’s stamina is maxed out during an important plot element. After tricking a Jaguar into killing his pursuers, Jaguar Paw orphans a poor jaguar cub when the Einsatzgruppe kill the jaguar in revenge. One dude points out how the combination of a diseased, prediction-telling child, a freak solar eclipse, and the convenient jaguar-killing-a-man incident is a bad omen, but he is silenced not long thereafter by a snake-bite to the jugular, thus validating his concerns. The rest of his troupe press on nonetheless, whereupon they follow Jaguar Paw over the side of a waterfall, where one of the troupe members inconveniently bashes his head on a rock. This is where Jaguar Paw changes colour back to red brown Native American.

While Jaguar Paw has, at this time, shown an exceptional ability to dodge flying objects (despite being hit with a non-fatal arrow), he is not bright enough to not fall into a pool of quicksand. Nonetheless, he somehow manages to swim through it and climb out, whereupon he gains immense luck and shortly thereafter finds a poisonous toad. Now grey (see: Gandalf the Grey), Jaguar Paw pulls a MacGuyver and fashions poisonous blow-darts, which he uses to dispose of another pursuer. Having mastered the art of stealing bases in baseball during his tribe’s league games, he also manages to run at an attacker, slide beneath the attacker’s swinging weapon, and gracefully pick up a bludgeon which he uses to dispatch another enemy. There is glorious blood-mist in this scene.

Back at his old village, Jaguar Paw stumbles upon his wife in her watery hole (it’s raining at this point, and the sarlacc pit is steadily filling up with water). Oh, and Jaguar Paw is no longer grey now, but back to his original colour, just like he’s back at his village. (Gibson, you genius!) Here, Jaguar Paw uses boob-trappery to take out the Einsatzgruppe leader, just before stumbling upon Christopher Columbus and what we assume are boatloads of diseased blankets.

In the end, Jaguar Paw manages to pull his wife and now two kids (yeah, she had a baby while in the pit) out of the hole, whereupon they live happily ever after roaming through the jungle. With no shoes.

This BuzzCap brought to you by Dogfish Head’s 90 Minute IPA and Palo Santo Marron.

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We’ve been urging Bones Wiley to update his website, as we know he’s been hard at work coming up with lyrics and new tunes now that he’s back in the United States. While there’s no update just yet, there’s a new video up on YouTube under the name FolkClouds. The video shows a dark figure hammering out a new tune, and for those in-the-know, that dark figure is Bones Wiley hisownself. Check it:

Here’s hoping Bones Wiley FolkClouds will keep up with the updates. Oh, and pick up some better lighting equipment.

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Why wouldn’t a child of the 80s find a modern G.I. Joe movie fantastic? Given the veritable success of the recent Transformers movie, a G.I. Joe movie seems like a logical move. That is, until one realizes that G.I. Joe is full of campy nonsense much like the Ewoks that heralded Star Wars’ demise.

When the minds behind the Transformers movie decided to not to make Megatron turn into a little gun, fans may have been upset, but let’s be fair: the ultimate transforming villain turning into what looks like a German handgun isn’t all that cool compared to the bad guy who turns into frikken tank. The point is, what we all thought was cool in a cartoon just doesn’t translate well into a live action film.

So why the G.I. Joe movie diss? We’ll be the first to say that early promotional pictures of key characters looked good, but more recent pictures make the whole venture just seem lame. The chief problem, of course, is that one of the factors that made G.I. Joe appealing to kids was that each character had a pretty unique personality and look, creating a harlequin of an army. But that army wasn’t realistic, because all they ended up killing were machines, and even towards the end of the cartoon’s run, the only Joe to come close to dying woke up from a short coma.

Sadly, an authentic G.I. Joe movie won’t do to keep the old fans cheering. Rather, the movie writers need to change some key components to the original story to make the organizations believable, and then fit the characters in appropriately. That is, make G.I. Joe an elite counterterrorism task force comprised of members from a myriad of organizations, not a replacement for the country’s military branches. And for the sake of all that’s holy, don’t get carried away with each Joe’s garb; give them a standard outfit with some unique personalizations, but the harlequin thing just doesn’t work outside of the cartoon.

We haven’t seen any photos of Destro yet, but it already sounds like he won’t have any supernatural ties, which makes us a bit disappointed, but that kind of tangent would probably just complicate things anyway. Here’s hoping they don’t make the character lame compared to the original – we’d much rather see them not use Destro than screw him up.

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Is anyone surprised that the copy protection announced for Mass Effect and Spore is being reconsidered? In short, publishers Bioware and EA, respectively, initially decided to include a copy protection mechanism that would cause the aforementioned games to “phone home” every ten days to ensure that the game played was legitimately purchased. The ten-day authentication angered a lot of gamers, despite the fact, as Tobold points out, they’re online all the time anyway. In reality, the group of gamers who have the most to complain about are the ones who won’t consistently be wired once every ten days, but this is a very tiny subset of those complaining.

Let’s be honest about software piracy, though: the lengths taken by a lot of companies these days (e.g. the RIAA) to protect their sales has ballooned to the point where it’s instead determining who can do what with media and software in a “fair” manner. In other words, the “protections” proposed have gone beyond simply protecting a company’s assets, to simply being unfair to the consumer.

Tobold’s take on the matter is not an unusual one, because like most others, he seems to forget that a pirated game does not equate to a “lost sale”. That’s because there are plenty of people who have no qualms about illegally obtaining a song, movie, or video game to try it out, who might very well never have bought the item in the first place, even if it wasn’t available illegally. In other words, the a chunk of software pirates have no effect on a company’s sales, but corporate big-wigs like to inflate their problems to impose stricter regulations out of greed, not simply financial security. That’s precisely why, after years of piracy increasing, the music, movie, and game industries are still seeing an increase in yearly profits, despite claims that they’re hurting.

We’re not sure what Tobold’s source is when he claims,

“There are several good game studios that have gone under or been forced to sell out because while lots of people played their games, less than half of their players had actually paid for them.”

Interestingly, he didn’t name one example, and the more likely suspect of them failing is because while some people may have enjoyed their products, they probably didn’t appeal to most gamers. Look at the considerable number of games that do manage to make money, which began as free products. Counterstrike is a prime example of a polished game, released as a free-download for Half-Life, that would later be sold, with minimal changes, to the same players who enjoyed it for free for years. Look at XBox Live Arcade, which features games based off free, web-based Flash games. Or, take a gander at Nintendo’s Virtual Console, which features titles many years old that are easily obtainable for free, illegally, by doing a simple Google search. Good games will sell despite piracy, and that’s a lesson the music and movie industries will need to learn, also.

Even assuming that strict copy protection was necessary, it still doesn’t justify a product phoning home every ten days. Nor does it require a physical check of the purchased media.

As far as video games go, it wasn’t too long ago that copy protection was based on the user looking up content from material bundled with the game. Some games made users look up certain words in the included game manuals, while other games found a way to incorporate bundled items into the game’s context. With how common bundling material in “collector’s editions” has become, developers could just as easily throw in a nice physical item that’s needed to decode an in-game puzzle or riddle. These methods were relied upon until CD-ROMs became popular, because at the onset of their release, they were not copyable by the average consumer.

Now, however, why not go back to this proven system that requires no media checks or online access?

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What is this, the Reality Distortion Field (RDF) at it’s best? TUAW’s claiming that news of movie rentals via iTunes is making Blockbuster and Netflix stock drop, despite the fact that movie rentals on iTunes is nothing but novelty. Don’t get me wrong – the fact that I have a new rental option is nice, especially since I can do it without leaving my home. The price of this luxury is not cheap, however: four dollars for basic movies, and five dollars for HD movies.

Meanwhile, I can get unlimited HD movies sent via the mail, per month, thanks to Netflix, for less than the cost of two HD movies via the iTunes rental service. Plus, I’m not forced to watch my Netflix movies within 24 hours of starting them. In other words, the iTunes rental service looks great on paper if money is no option, but for a rental budget of $10 per month, Netflix is still the much better deal. Not to mention, Netflix allows me to stream movies from the Internet in addition to the movies I get via mail, which means the limitation on me having only one movie out at a time is moot, especially since Netflix announced that I can have unlimited movie streaming.

As nice as the iTunes movie rental business is, it’s too frikken pricey. What Apple should have done is find a way to negotiate unlimited rentals for a monthly subscription cost, perhaps by placing certain limitations on the service such as forcing users to delete/finish one movie before they can download another. Instead, Apple is charging a fee for movies at a higher cost than brick’n mortar competitors, and certainly more expensive than Netflix. That’s not a way to corner the market, and the undue hype around this movie rental announcement is plain silly.Similar Posts:

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Introduction

It’s been over a year since I publicly released Bringing Back the Force, and have, since then, received quite a flood of e-mail. While there were, of course, flames from Lucas-zealots for defying their master’s vision, on the whole, feedback has been most excellent. I intended on writing a follow-up article a mere handful of months after Bringing Back the Force hit the web, but I decided against it. Now, a year and four months later, after another sudden surge of readership, I decided to put online some of the more popular responses to questions asked and comments received. For clarity’s sake, I will refer to Bringing Back the Force as “the theory” or “my theory”, and will refer “Ben” to the older Anakin according to my theory, not Obi-Wan. Additionally, “old Kenobi” will refer to Kenobi as seen in Episodes Four through Six, and “young Kenobi” will refer to Kenobi in Episode One.

The primary purpose of this follow-up article is not to prove that my theory has no holes. Nor is it to stubbornly prove that my theory is correct, and that the masses were tricked into falling for Lucas’ trap. Rather, this article intends on clarifying some points, and raising possible explanations for how the theory could further be supported. To me, it’s not a matter of “who is right”, but rather, “what could be done to the Star Wars storyline to make it better”. Because the theory is so well supported by the evidence already given, I see no reason that the theory could not be implemented, and however thin your stretch “evidence” here and there, that it would be convincing in totality.

OOC

While the theory tries dealing with events from the four released movies, people like to bring up quotes from Lucas himself, especially those where Lucas implies, or implicitly refers, to Anakin becoming Vader. In order for my theory to make the least bit of sense, you have to assume that Lucas doesn’t want people to know about it until Episode Two or Three (whichever reveals the secret). So naturally, Lucas would not refer to Obi-Wan becoming Vader, even in an interview with the press.

In a similar vein, the teaser posters where a shadowy silhouette of Vader comes out of young Anakin’s body serve only to reinforce the belief that the audience already has – that Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Again, this is what Lucas wants the audience to believe, until he himself decides otherwise.

Noting details about the script in my theory, I now suggest another. While it makes sense to refer to old Kenobi as “Ben” in Episode Four, it doesn’t make that much sense in Episode’s Five and Six, since by then, we’re supposed to know that he’s Obi-Wan. In fact, Episode 1 is the only Star Wars film in which the character is listed as “Obi-Wan” throughout the script. Is it because the character depicted in Episode One is not the same as in Episodes Four through Six?

Character Appearance

The question of casting is an important one, and I must admit, the care taken to find an actor with a British accent to play Obi-Wan was definitely intentional. As many of you have pointed out, old Kenobi had a British accent, young Kenobi had a British accent, and young Anakin did not. While the human voice of Vader was hard to make out in Return of the Jedi, people are quick to assume that the crippled Vader, and the mechanized Vader, spoke without an accent. To these people, I would raise the argument that Vader’s voice, being a robotically implemented attachment to his helmet, could perhaps not adequately filter the accent, and so it was not evident in Vader’s normal dialogue. Any words spoken by the dying Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi could be similarly misconstrued.

Over-enthusiastic critics will try to claim that they see a clear resemblance between young Anakin, and the dying/ghostly Vader. How anyone can see such a resemblance, given the huge gap in age, is beyond me. While I would be more likely to buy claims of a physical resemblance between young and old Kenobi, I can’t honestly say that I do. A recent picture offered to me, showing young Kenobi in Episode Two with a beard, and dressed in the garb of old Ben (which is traditional Jedi garb, mind you), does not convince me. As I responded then, I shall respond now: A beard does not an old Kenobi make. Even with the similarities in place, I don’t see the resemblance between young Kenobi and old Kenobi – the former’s head is much rounder, and looks to me to be a much closer match with the dying/ghostly Vader. In addition, the actor playing teenage Anakin in Episode Two looks to have a more slender face, much like that of old Kenobi.

Why then, would young Kenobi grow a beard in Episode Two, similar to the beard old Ben wears in A New Hope? If Anakin Skywalker needed to hide from the Empire, and took on the name Ben Kenobi to hide from the real Kenobi, perhaps he also took on his identification in other ways. Presumably, some sort of identification records exist in the Star Wars galaxy, and donning a beard much like the real Kenobi’s, Anakin was able to assume a new identity, and thus new records. Fake pictorial id is not difficult to use, especially when one’s face is hidden behind a beard.

Even if the fleeing Anakin didn’t need to look like the real Kenobi, the matter of both of them wearing a beard is easily explained by coincidence. Or, perhaps, Anakin growing a beard was done simply to hide a more known face – how often do we see movies in which the gangsters grow a beard to hide their face, images of which have been plastered across the city? It’s not much of a stretch, when considering the theory to be true, that Lucas gave young Kenobi a beard as just another way to throw the audience off.

Vader’s Penance

My introduction to Bringing Back the Force included a rough summary of David Brin’s article, which was a piece that caused me to seriously reflect on the Star Wars saga. Initially, I received just as much of an opposition to the ideas Brin brought up as I did “evidence” for the switch, which I found quite surprising. To summarize, Brin criticized Lucas for making the audience cheer for young Anakin, when we knew very well that the young lad would grow up, only to murder multitudes as Darth Vader.

Numerous arguments have been thrown around to justify this, usually taking the form of “but Vader died a righteous death” or “a rightful death is better than a sinful death”. I dismiss these claims in support of Brin’s article, for I believe that the audience should live up to one standard, not two.

It is here that I bring up historical references, and wonder why the arguments for excusing Vader’s crimes can be applied to a fictional galaxy, but not to the real world. After World War II, German military leaders were categorically executed for their relation to Germany’s military might, despite the fact that they were not personally involved in the execution of the Jewish peoples. Vader, who for all intents and purposes served as the Emperor’s right hand, both in charge of military forces and head of an inquisition against the Jedi, is just as evil (if not more so) than any Nazi war criminal. Yet the audience is fully capable of excusing Vader’s actions, arguing that he was just a tool of the Empire, not the true evil therein.

Whoever Vader was before he turned to the Dark Side, the fact remains that he did not have the force of will to resist the temptations of the Empire. Just as a member of the German military hierarchy did not have the force of will to resist the dominion of the Third Reich.

In my opinion, the parallels are shocking.

The Droids

I reference the droids in Bringing Back the Force, saying that if Anakin really were Vader, then some sort of reflection on his past would have taken place, given that he was once their owner. Critics argue that no such reflection took place because Vader was never in the proximity of the droids, and as such, was never in contact with then. In other words, they argue that he didn’t know they were there.

In Return of the Jedi, R2D2 is on Endor with Han and company, and Vader senses the presence of Luke with them. Before that, Vader is on Bespin with C3PO. In both of these cases, Vader’s prowess at reading people’s surface thoughts would very well be an explanation for discovering the droids. Arguing that there are hundreds of protocol and R2 droids doesn’t hold up in this case, not to mention that C3PO looked physically different (and sounded different) than other protocol droids. Catching some concern for, or other mention of, the droids, is not an impossibility.

Colloquialisms

Readers of my theory point out that my mention of Kenobi calling Luke “son”, and referring to R2D2 as his “friend” are colloquial terms. This, of course, I am aware of. It’s the fact that these specific two colloquial terms were used that I’m forced to question if they’re just a coincidence, or if they actually hint at some future plot-twist. To argue that they’re coincidental is just as valid as arguing they’re not.

Contradiction?

Two things I wrote in Bringing Back the Force confuses people more than any other. Namely, they are:

Might I add, now, that young Kenobi wasn’t an especially stable Jedi. That is, he wasn’t too well versed in keeping his cool, thinking as any Jedi should. In fact, he breaks the Jedi code at the end of Episode One, when he sees his Master die and, in a fervorous rage, engages Darth Maul in combat. Unlike his Master, Obi-Wan’s anger comes out, bringing him one step closer to the dark side. That’s right, folks, it’s Obi-Wan that becomes Darth Vader, not Anakin.

And:

When Yoda is first considering teaching Luke, he notes to Ben that the boy is reckless. Ben agrees, but reminds Yoda that when he was younger, he too was reckless. Yet from Episode one, we know that Obi-Wan was not reckless at all, always doing everything as in the book, always telling Qui-Gon that he ought not be reckless. Anakin, however, is another story.

The confusion here comes from the fact that the first quote refers to young Kenobi and his by-the-book attitude (he even lectures his master, Qui-Gon, on this). The second quote, however, refers to old Kenobi (Anakin, not Obi-Wan) who acknowledges that he (young Anakin) was also reckless once, which we saw when he was a boy in Episode One. Note also, that the first quote is primarily concerned with emotional stability, rather than conscious action, and involves an emotional leave from the Jedi code, not a conscious acknowledgment of breaching his codex. So, in fact, I am not contradicting myself with these two quotes.

Anger

My accusations against young Kenobi exploding in a fit of rage when his master is killed is dismissed by critics, and they often don’t agree that anger will lead one towards the Dark Side. Yet, Yoda and old Kenobi say this very thing – anger leads to the Dark Side.

To support their claims, however, critics will ponder why an angered Luke was successful in defeating Vader after being taunted by both Palpatine and Vader.

If we are to accept later Star Wars literature, with which the theory purposely does not deal with (seeing as Lucas may disregard it yet again), then Luke’s giving into anger might very well be foreshadowing his eventual fall to the Dark Side, which does in fact happen a number of years after Return of the Jedi closes.

The easiest way, however, for me to dismiss claims that anger won victory over the Empire is by explaining that it did not. The taunting of Luke by the Emperor, in order to bring about anger in the boy, was intentional. As you’ll recall from Return of the Jedi, the Emperor wanted Luke to slay Vader. Luke giving in to anger and defeating Vader was all part of the Imperial plan; it wasn’t some righteous win or final blow by the forces of good. In fact, it could very well be argued that even had Luke not faced Vader to begin with, and if the Emperor thusly disposed of Luke, that Vader would have destroyed his master anyway.

Vader’s Son

In my theory, I note that Vader only refers to Luke as his son once, when not confronting the boy. When he does do this, however, in Return of the Jedi, I explain the reference as sarcastic, and when reviewing an audio clip of the moment, I noticed an atypical voice inflection in the quote. I consider this an adequate explanation for the inconsistency, which I noted in the original text of my theory.

The most difficult hole to patch up in my theory is the end of Return of the Jedi, where Vader wants to see Luke with his own eyes. I could try proposing that Vader wanted to keep up the masquerade, either to kid himself as he lay dying, or to ease the boy’s pain when left alone with the realization that he is the “last” Jedi. Psychologically, the impact might be enough to keep Luke on the right track. This, of course, is stretching things quite thin, and I don’t claim to be able to defend any such argument flawlessly, but it is a possible explanation.

Owen

In my theory, I note that Ben explains to Luke that Owen is not really the lad’s uncle, but that Owen is Ben’s brother. While I incorrectly attributed the quote to Episode Five (it’s actually in Ep6), the quote is still present.

When your father left, he didn’t know your mother was pregnant. Your mother and I knew he would find out eventually, but we wanted to keep you both as safe as possible, for as long as possible. So I took you to live with my brother Owen on Tatooine… and your mother took Leia to live as the daughter of Senator Organa, on Alderaan.

So, according to old Kenobi, Vader didn’t know that Luke was born, or would be born. Old Kenobi also told Luke in Episode Four that Luke’s father wanted him to have the lightsaber that old Kenobi handed him. So, if according to popular opinion Anakin became Vader, then these two quotes don’t hold up – how could Vader not know that Luke was conceived and yet want for Luke to have the lightsaber, if Vader really was Luke’s father?

The quotes do hold up, however, if old Kenobi is actually Luke’s father. The quote written above is old Kenobi relaying the story of Vader to Luke, noting that the young Vader didn’t know that Luke’s mother was pregnant, so old Kenobi (then Anakin Skywalker) hid his wife and child with his own brother (as he says) on Tatooine.

The quote above can be found by flipping through the script of Episode Six. Curiously, there appear to be two copies of the Second Draft for this film, both with the same date on them but one missing the additional dialogue from old Kenobi. I take this to mean that this was filmed, but cut out of the final production run. Nevertheless, the quote appears to be quite valid.

But I digress; while I cannot validate the authenticity of the article, one of the leaked “spoilers” from a supposed inside source makes mention of the name Owen. As Episode II progresses, it seems that teenage Anakin has a vision of his mother in peril, and heads to Tatooine to save her. Finding her missing, he gets information from his once-master Watoo, the junk dealer, who tells him that his mother is no longer a slave, and married a man named Cliegg Lars. The two had a child named Owen, whose girlfriend is named Beru Whitesun. This would be the very couple that raises young Luke, whom we see in Episode Four.

Yet as the above quote mentions, Owen is old Kenobi’s brother. If this spoiler is at all true, and Episode Two follows it, then we have a contradiction – whose brother is Owen? The contradiction can be averted if my theory is true – young Anakin becomes Ben Kenobi, so both the reference to Owen being Anakin’s brother, and Owen being old Kenobi’s brother, makes sense, since they are the same person.

Fan Rumours and Speculation

Lots of people have written me about their own proof to aid my theory, and I figured I may as well drop some in with no further explanation. Enjoy.

In an interview with Anthony Daniels (C3PO) after the release of Ep1, he said, “George [Lucas] explained the story to me. He said, “You were built by Anakin,” and I thought, “Oh, that’s really nice because Alec Guiness was so supportive to me on the earlier movies.” I thought it was fitting that Threepio was built by Sir Alec.” Daniel later goes on to say that he forgot Anakin was supposed to end up as Vader. Perhaps it was a Freudian slip. (Can anyone validate this article?)

Another tidbit that I’d love to have someone validate is the supposed announcement of a national radio DJ in the UK who claims that Brian Blessed (Boss Nas) told him some privy information about the sequels. The DJ said that the outcome of the plot twist would be as strange as the revelation in Fight Club.

The original Bringing Back the Force article has been relocated.

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